


Happy Birthday btw

by Romano_the_great



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Birthday Cake, Break Up, Heavy Angst, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders-centric, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, haha good luck with this one guys, idk how to tag, let me know if i need to add more, remus is like 5, remus is pattons son, roman and remus are not related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:40:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28625850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romano_the_great/pseuds/Romano_the_great
Summary: This was never what Patton wanted. all he wanted was for remus (his son) to get the new toy he'd been wanting for a while, maybe watch some movies with his amazing boyfriend! to late for that now. all he's left with are peices of his happyness.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Happy Birthday btw

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: my editor gave up on me halfway through editing. so half of this is edited, they couldn't handle the angst. so please read the tags and tell me if im missing any. they are like the toughest person i know so, yeah. basically roman and remus arn't twins instead remus is pattons son and patton is dating janus so remus can have a father and crap and patton like begs janus to stay blah blah blah idk if this entire thing is confusing or not im impulsively posting this at one in the morning so don't expect big brain stuff guys/gals/enbys. just good luck also small tw for swearing

When Patton woke up this morning he didn’t expect to be crying later. 

He’d expected to wake up, make breakfast, maybe get a few birthdays wishes, open whatever presents that came in the mail, go to work, eat dinner, go to sleep cuddling with his boyfriend. He never wanted this to happen. 

It’s not like he got a say in it anyways. The universe could be cruel sometimes. 

He should probably explain to Roman why he rushed into his house late during the night sobbing. He didn’t want to get into though. 

He should call Virgil and tell him that Janus and him weren’t going to make it to lunch tomorrow. He didn’t want Virgil to hear him cry again. 

He should tell Logan that he needed some space and now was not the time for snarky comments and fights with roman. 

He should probably tell his son, Remus, that his father had failed again in finding a new dad. He defiantly didn’t want to think about that. 

So, he lay there, head in Romans lap, tears striking down his face. Roman’s hand combed slowly through his hair, whispering soft words he couldn’t caught hear. 

He never wanted this to happen, especially on his birthday. 

He closed his eyes, hiccupping his way to sleep. 

When he awoke, he found himself in a soft bed surrounded by stuffed animals and Disney posters. For a moment he rested his head back thinking about making breakfast for Janus before heading to work. 

Then he remembered the events of last night. 

“hey Patton?” Janus whispered. He had a black beanie on and had snake scale makeup painted on for the play rehearsal he shared with Roman. 

“yes, my love,” Patton replied cheerfully giving a small smile at Janus for encouragement. 

Janus often repressed a lot of things, instead opting to lie about his insecurities to get out of trouble. Patton had helped him though that. In return, Janus helped Patton when he relapsed. Patton had been struggling with depression for years and only now talking about it. finally learning to cope in heathy ways. 

Or at least he had been. 

“I’m sorry to have to do this to you on your birthday, but I’m afraid I can’t take this anymore!” 

Patton learched forward suddenly on the edge of his seat. “WHAT? Are you okay? Is something wrong? Did I do something?” 

Janus smiled sadly. “never mind…. Just happy birthday!” 

“you sure? You looked- “ 

“I’m fine, and later when I tell you… I just want you to know it’s not your fault,” 

“but- “Janus waved him off smiling. “o-okay if you say so…” 

They were silent. Noises of five-year-old Remus playing in the other room drifted through. Patton leaned back closing his eyes, letting him relax for a moment. 

“just brea- “Patton gasped and clawed is thought desperate for air. “in for four- “ 

Patton’s eyes teared up at the corners. He couldn’t breathe! He was going to die! 

‘Was that really such a bad thing’ a small voice whispered. 

He shook his head violently, fists banging against his temples. 

“GET THEM OUT! I WANT OUT!” he chanted this phrase repeatedly; his fists being pulled away from his head “GET THEM OUT! I WANT OUT!” he sobbed. 

“oh, fuck I need Virgil- “Patton whined still gasping for air. 

His vision started to blacken, and he passed out. 

“make a wish birthday boy!” Janus smirked; Patton didn’t think anything of it at the time, but his eyes didn’t crinkle like they normally did. 

Patton took a deep exaggerated breath in and blew all the candles out in one breath. Thirty-one candles all blown out. 

He should have wished for them to stay together. 

When Patton came too, he sat up way too quickly bright lights sinking into his puffy eyes. He slid back down closing his eyes. 

“I don’t know what happened Virgil! he’s been like this since he came here!” Romans voice echoed across the room. “he woke up and had and immensely bad a panic attack! I really didn’t know what to do! Then he passed out and I’m scared! Can you come over!?” 

There was a pause. 

“oh my god thank you so much! Of course! Love you too! Bye!” relief filled Romans voice. 

Footsteps got closer; a blanket shifted on top of Patton to cover him better. 

“just thirty minutes and Virgil arrive, then I can be of more use to you!” 

He drifted off not wanting to deal with this right now. 

“look Patton- “Janus paused looking down at Patton. “I’m sorry but this isn’t working out…” 

Patton gasped hit with the realization. His hands clamed into fists and he grabbed Janus’s sweater holding on for dear life. 

“wait- no- you can’t leave!” it was just like before, why everyone always left him. “did I do something! I promise I’ll do better! I’ll do anything! A-anything at all!” 

Patton pulled Janus closer their noses were almost touching. 

“I’LL BE GOOD! I’LL BE NICE! I’LL CLEAN EVERYTHING AND I’LL DISAPEAR! YOU WON’T EVEN NOTICE ME!” Patton cried even harder. “I’LL HUG YOU MORE AND KISS YOU MORE, unless that was the problem in that case, I won’t do that- I CAN BE TOUGHER! FIGHT MY OWN BATTLES… O-OR I C-CAN B-BE WEAKER IF THAT’S WHAT YOU W-WANT!?” 

Janus pried Patton off and stepped back. Patton collapsed onto his knees begging. 

“I WON’T SPEAK! I’LL NEVER WATCH ANY CARTOON! I know those bothered you- “ 

He was cut off. “this isn’t you fault; you are perfect and I’m sure someone else will love you, but we were just not meant for each other. Don’t ever blame yourself okay!” 

He cupped his hand around patron’s cheek whipping the tears away. ‘I’m sure someone else will love you’ ringing back and forth in patron’s mind. Janus helped Patton up, he smiled sadly and lowered his hat bowing his head. 

“till we meet again, I will miss you, you will find someone.” Janus smiled softly. “as will I, happy birthday by the way.” 

Patton felt arms around him. He pressed into the warmth. It smelled of coffee and cats. He clung to the framiler secant. Virgil was here. 

They stayed like that for a while. 

“you want to talk about it?” Virgil said finally breaking the hug hand still on his shoulder. 

Patton nodded slowly biting his lip. He explained the whole thing. his eyes slowly filled with tears again as Roman joined the cuddle fest. 

“I’m going to chop off that snakes dick once it gets to rehearsal!” Roman hissed once the story was done. “that asshat! Breaking up with you on your birthday! That must have been awful!” 

“well, I can’t say that it was fun kiddo!” Patton laughed softly. 

They sat together in silence. 

“do you guys actually love me?” Patton spoke up after an awhile. 

Roman gaped jaw dropping, Virgil was quick to reassure him. “Patton of course we love you! We’re best friends till the end!” 

“yeah! Listen to panic! At the everywhere! We love you!” 

“pinky promise?” Patton held out his pinky, he knew this was childish. 

Roman intertwined their pinkies Virgil joining the other hand. 

“pinky promises!” Virgil whispered. 

They let go, tension dripping out of the air into a more peaceful quiet. 

“where’s Remus?” Patton had brought him over too. 

“Logan’s watching him in the basement,” Roman supplied. 

Patton relaxed into the couch. Logan seemed to always be at romans house. 

“I love you, kiddos!” Patton beamed at them. 

Maybe everything would be okay for his small family.

**Author's Note:**

> hey did anyone stick till the end! since i know my best friend/editor won't read this part, i just wanna say that this is parcaily(lol i can't spell) based off my own experiences. of course I've never dated anyone and don't have children but the rest is due to my past. so uh yeah, this was kind of a vent in a way and strangely therapeutic i don't feel as angry as before. so yeah. if you could maybe drop some kudos and leave whatever comment you would like. (comments fuel my will to exist) i hope u enjoyed and make sure y'all take care of yourselves. have a wonderful morning/evening/night!


End file.
